It’s not something anyone expects to experience at work, to have a colleague let alone a mate killed while on duty.
But it is accepted as part of a soldier’s job.
During 35 years with the Australian Army, Major General Jason Blain experienced his bloodiest in Afghanistan, in 2010.
Within two months, six of his mates were killed.
All were young men between 21 and 35 years old and they left behind wives, partners, children, parents, brothers and sisters.
In June, roadside bombs claimed the lives of sappers Darren Smith and Jacob “Snowy” Moreland.
Almost a month later to the day, Private Nathan Bewes died the same way, and six weeks on, Private Tomas Dale and Private Grant Kirby were taken.
The grief was compounded four days later, when Lance Corporal Jared MacKinney was killed during an intense fire-fight with Taliban insurgents.
“They loved and were loved, Maj Gen Blain tells AAP as he takes donations for the RSL’s 2024 Poppy Appeal in Melbourne.
“Those six men, all with a life ahead of them.”
They are who he will be thinking about this Remembrance Day.
It’s an occasion perhaps more significant than ANZAC day for most current and former soldiers who have endured both personal grief and that felt by the families and loved ones of their fallen comrades.
“Some 103,000 Australians are listed on our roll of honour at the Australian War Memorial in Canberra, sacrificing their lives so others could have the opportunity for freedom, for peace and to live a life that was free of danger and turmoil, Maj Gen Blain says.
“I think about all those that have given up their life, paid the ultimate sacrifice in their service.”
The recent federal royal commission into veteran suicides revealed how such tragedy can strike years after service, while many who served feel hey ‘died’ on-field after suffering the invisible wounds of war – be they moral injuries, PTSD or brain trauma.
Most carry their burdens quietly and internally, and as the royal commission found, without sufficient acknowledgement of their pain or support for their transition back to civilian life.
Anzac Day is of course more widely observed among civilian Australians as a public holiday anchored by commemorative services and parades, and acknowledged during two-up games in pubs, and at football matches and social gatherings.
Remembrance Day is smaller by comparison and probably more so this year as it falls on a Monday.
Yet taking one minute’s silence at 11 am on the 11th will have a significant impact on current and former servicemen and women, says RSL Queensland State President Major General Stephen Day.
“I work with veterans and their families every day and I know that taking the time to commemorate the sacrifice and loss of those who served on Remembrance Day is one of the most powerful ways you can show your support, he says.
“It may be just one minute of silence but the impact lasts much longer for our veteran community and their families.”
In a small way perhaps, this “acknowledgement of wound” illustrates the power of someone telling another they see what they went through, so they can take the first steps to recover and heal.
Nursing student and ADF applicant Eva Millken, 22, will have her serviceman brother in her thoughts on Monday following his passing.
“Not everyone understands it,” she says of the day. “They think, ‘oh, it’s Remembrance Day. What are we remembering?’
“But I encourage them to have the passion for it, just to look into it and think about it because it’s very, very important.”
As Maj Gen Blain remembers on Monday his mates killed almost 15 years ago, it will be a matter of great pride for him to witness civilians attend RSL clubs around the nation to watch the laying of wreaths and taking part in a minute of silence as the last post plays.
“For someone serving in the Australian Army, it’s a really strong and uplifting sight to see,” he says.
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